Charles-Bukowski-Love-is-a-Dog-From-Hell, Książki

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CHARLES BUKOWSKI Love Is a Dog from Hell Poems, 1974-1977 Dedication to Carl Weissner [Page 13] 1 one more creature dizzy with love [Page 15] Sandra 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 is the slim tall ear-ringed bedroom damsel dressed in a long gown she's always high in heels spirit pills booze Sandra leans out of her chair leans toward Glendale I wait for her head to hit the closet doorknob as she attempts to light a new cigarette on an almost burnt-out one at 32 she likes young neat unscratched boys with faces like the bottoms of new saucers she has proclaimed as much to me has brought her prizes[Page 16] 31 32 33 34 over for me to view: silent blonde zeros of young flesh who35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49a) sit b) stand c) talk at her command sometimes she brings one sometimes two sometimes three for me to view Sandra looks very good in long gowns Sandra could probably break a man's heart I hope she finds one.[Page 17] you 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 you're a beast, she said your big white belly and those hairy feet. you never cut your nails and you have fat hands paws like a cat your bright red nose and the biggest balls I've ever seen. you shoot sperm like a whale shoots water out of the hole in its back. beast beast beast, she kissed me, what do you want for breakfast?[Page 18] the 6 foot goddess 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 I'm big I suppose that's why my women always seem small but this 6 foot goddess who deals in real estate and art and flies from Texas to see me and I fly to Texas to see her--well, there's plenty of her to grab hold of and I grab hold of it of her, I yank her head back by the hair,16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34I'm real macho, I suck on her upper lip her cunt her soul I mount her and tell her, "I'm going to shoot white hot juice into you. I didn't fly all the way to Galveston to play chess." later we lay locked like human vines my left arm under her pillow my right arm over her side I grip both of her hands, and my chest belly balls cock tangle into her and through us[Page 19] 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 in the dark pass rays back and forth back and forth until I fall away and we sleep. she's wild but kind my 6 foot goddess makes me laugh the laughter of the mutilated who still need love, and her blessed eyes run deep into her head like mountain springs far in and cool and good. she has saved me from everything that is not here.[Page 20] I've seen too many glazed-eyed bums sitting under a bridge drinking cheap wine 1 2 3 4 5 6 you sit on the couch with me tonight new woman. have you seen the animal-eater7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27documentaries? they show death. and now I wonder which animal of us will eat the other first physically and last spiritually? we consume animals and then one of us consumes the other, my love. meanwhile I'd prefer you go first the first way since if past performance charts mean anything I'll surely go first the last way.[Page 21] sexpot 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 "you know," she said, "you were at the bar so you didn't see but I danced with this guy. we danced and we danced close. but I didn't go home with him because he knew I was with you." "thanks a bunch," I said. she was always thinking of sex. she carried it around with her like something in a paper bag. such energy. she never forgot. she stared at every man available in morning cafes over bacon and eggs or later over a noon sandwich or a steak dinner. "I've modeled myself after Marilyn Monroe," she told me.26 27 28 29 30"she's always running off to some local disco to dance with a baboon," a friend once told me, "I'm amazed that you've stood for it as long as you have."[Page 22] 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 she'd vanish at racetracks then come back and say, "three men offered to buy me a drink." or I'd lose her in the parking lot and I'd look up and she'd be walking along with a strange man. "well, he came from this direction and I came from that and we kind of walked together. I didn't want to hurt his feelings." she said that I was a very jealous man. one day she just fell down inside of her sexual organs and vanished. it was like an alarm clock dropping into the Grand Canyon. it banged and rattled and rang and rang but I could no longer see or hear it. I'm feeling much better now. I've taken up tap-dancing and I wear a black felt hat pulled down low over my right eye.[Page 23] sweet music 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 it beats love because there aren't any wounds: in the morning she turns on the radio, Brahms or Ives or Stravinsky or Mozart. she boils the eggs counting the seconds out loud: 56, 57, 58 ... she peels the eggs, brings them to me in bed. after breakfast it's the same chair and listen to the classical music. she's on her first glass of scotch and her third cigarette. I tell11 12 13 14 15her I must go to the racetrack. she's been here about 2 nights and 2 days. "when will I see you again?" I ask. she suggests that might be up to me. I nod and Mozart plays.[Page 24] numb your ass and your brain and your heart--1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 I was coming off an affair that had gone badly. frankly, I was sliding down into a pit really feeling shitty and low when I lucked into this lady with a large bed covered with a jeweled canopy plus wine, champagne, smokes, pills and color tv. we stayed in bed and drank wine, champagne, smoked, popped pills by the dozens as I (feeling shitty and low) tried to get over this affair that had gone bad. I watched the tv trying to dull my senses, but the thing that really helped was this very long (specially written for tv) drama about spies--American spies and Russian spies, and they were all so clever and cool--even their children didn't know their wives didn't know, and in a way they hardly knew--and I found out about counter-spies, double-spies: guys who worked both sides, and then this one who was a double-spy turned into a triple-spy, it got nicely confusing--I don't even think the guy who wrote the script knew what was happening--it went on for hours![Page 25] 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 seaplanes rammed into icebergs, a priest in Madison, Wisc. murdered his brother, a block of ice was shipped in a casket to Peru in lieu of the world's largest diamond, and blondes walked in and out of rooms eating creampuffs and walnuts; the triple-spy turned into a quadruple-spy and everybody loved everybody and it went on and on and the hours passed and it all finally vanished like a paperclip in a bag of trash and I48 49 50reached over and flicked off the set and slept well for the first time in a week and a half.[Page 26] one of the hottest 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 she wore a platinum blond wig and her face was rouged and powdered and she put the lipstick on making a huge painted mouth and her neck was wrinkled but she still had the ass of a young girl and the legs were good. she wore blue panties and I got them off raised her dress, and with the TV flickering I took her standing up. as we struggled around the room (I'm fucking the grave, I thought, I'm bringing the dead back to life, marvelous so marvelous like eating cold olives at 3 a.m. with half the town on fire) I came. you boys can keep your virgins give me hot old women in high heels with asses that forgot to get old. of course, you leave afterwards or get very drunk which is the same thing. we drank wine for hours and watched tv and when we went to bed to sleep it off she left her teeth in all night long.[Page 27] ashes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 I got his ashes, she said, and I took them out to sea and I scattered his ashes and they didn't even look like ashes and the urn was weighted with green and blue pebbles ... he didn't leave you any of his millions? nothing, she said. after having to eat all those breakfasts and lunches and dinners with him? after listening to all his bullshit?13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23he was a brilliant man. you know what I mean. anyhow, I got the ashes. and you fucked my sisters. I never fucked your sisters. yes, you did. I fucked one of them. which one? the lesbian, I said, she bought me dinner and drinks, I had very little choice. I'm going, she said.[Page 28] 24 25 26 and 27 28 29 30 door. don't forget your bottle. she went in and got it. there's so little to you, she said, that when you die they burn you they'll have to add almost all green and blue pebbles. all right, I said. I'll see you in 6 months! she screamed and slammed the31 well, I thought, I guess in order to get rid of her I'll have 32 to fuck her other sister. I walked into the bedroom and started 33 looking for phone numbers. all I remembered was that she 34 lived in San Mateo and had a very good 35 job. [Page 29] fuck 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 she pulled her dress off over her head and I saw the panties indented somewhat into the crotch. it's only human. now we've got to do it. I've got to do it9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32after all that bluff. it's like a party--two trapped idiots. under the sheets after I have snapped off the light her panties are still on. she expects an opening performance. I can't blame her. but wonder why she's here with me? where are the other guys? how can you be lucky? having someone the others have abandoned? we didn't have to do it yet we had to do it. it was something like establishing new credibility with the income tax man. I get the panti... [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

Charles-Bukowski-Love-is-a-Dog-From-Hell, Książki

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